Ten Points from Professor Snape
by Spiderwebs11
Summary: Here's chapter 11. What with Voldemort well and truly out of the way we need something to occupy our spare time and Professor Snape has unwittingly given us something to live for revenge! Based on 401 ways to annoy Snape. No beta sorry NO HBP! WIP
1. Chapter 1

AU: doesn't follow HBP, inspired by Ways to Infuriate a Potions Master by KaylaAyleen

A.N.: I don't own Harry Potter or even the plot; it was pretty much all inspired from KaylaAyleen and includes elements of some of my other favourite books by Louise Rennison. I didn't even make the list of ways to annoy Snape; it came from a lovely lady named Amanda who I hope is not offended by this (In my defence I tried to send her an e-mail to check, but it didn't work). I make no cash from doing this (only enemies lol though I will try my best not to offend anyone).

SS/HG – who else?

Alternating points of view but mostly narrative I think.

Chapter 1: Something To Live For

I am, even if I do say so myself, a genius! I can't take all the credit but I do claim most of it. I have a plan! A plan which will ensure that our final year at Hogwarts will be talked about long after the antics of Fred and George Weasley have been forgotten. Even they never imagined embarking upon such an amazing, perhaps slightly insane, mission as the one I was about to undertake with my friends Ron, Ginny and Harry. What with Voldemort well and truly out of the way we need something to occupy our spare time and Professor Snape has unwittingly given us something to live for - revenge!

OOOOOO

Breakfast in the Great Hall was generally a rather noisy affair due to the arrival of the owls with the post and the constant chatter of the students about the day ahead. The morning started out much like any other. Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table while Hermione read aloud an article about Gilderoy Lockhart's release from St. Mungos.

"… his new biography detailing his miraculous recovery and plans for the future will be available in stores at the end of the month."

"Ah, well, at least I know what to get you for Christmas now," Harry joked.

However, it seemed she was no longer listening; instead her eyes were focused upon the doors of the Great Hall. Harry noticed her inattentiveness and whipped his head around, almost cricking his neck, to watch the doors as well only to see his Potions professor enter.

At first, no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, but before Professor Snape could take more than a few sips of his coffee, every head in the Hall had turned in his direction and silence descended upon the room.

Due to the abrupt drop in noise level as the students gaped at their professor (a few hastily trying to stifle their laughter); Professor McGonagall was clearly heard asking, "Severus, have you looked in the mirror this morning?"

"If this is some sort of joke, Minerva, then …" Snape began until he realised that everyone was looking at him, including the other staff members.

Professor Sinistra, who was sitting on his right, did not even attempt to hide her amusement as she handed him a mirror.

Snape's eyes widened in shock as he took in the change in his appearance. On his face, in thick black ink, a pair of circular glasses had been drawn along with an unpleasantly (for Snape anyway) familiar lightning bolt shape on his forehead.

Professor Snape's look of surprise rapidly changed to an expression of rage as he abruptly left the Great Hall.

Shortly after his departure and amidst the wave of laughter and chatter that broke out about their potions teacher, Ginny made her way into the Hall and sitting in an empty seat next to Hermione.

"That was brilliant Ginny, how did you pull it off without him noticing?" asked Ron, clearly impressed.

"What can I say? Some of us have a natural talent for wordless magic," she said, shrugging. "So which of our three lucky, remaining contestants wants to take the next mission?"

Ron answered, "Well this is Hermione's idea."

"What do I have to do?"

Ron looked slightly suspicious at her lack of protest but answered, "Well I think you'll like this one. In class when he leans in to check your work, you have to pin a S.P.E.W badge on him."

"No problem," Hermione said as they left Ginny and the Great Hall for the dungeon class room, her mood slightly more cheerful than normal.

OOOOOO

"Open your text books and turn to page 241 for today's list of ingredients. There will be no need to talk," barked, a now scar-less, clean faced, Professor Snape.

The seventh years immediately started work, turning to the correct page in their books before collecting the various ingredients needed for the day's potion.

Not one student dared to make even the tiniest noise, knowing the kind of mood he would be in considering the events at breakfast.

As usual Snape swept around the dungeon taking points from all houses, except his own, for the smallest of mistakes and making nasty comments and vague insinuations as to what made them such terrible students.

Finally he reached Hermione's cauldron, she was just adding the crushed bats fang into her cauldron so it could simmer before she added the next ingredient.

He leaned in to inspect her potion. Now was her chance. She leaned over and hastily fastened the badge to his robes before he could pull away.

"Miss Granger, what do you think you are doing?" he asked the question loud enough for the rest of the class to hear.

"I thought you might like to join S.P.E.W and support the house-elves' rights," she replied promptly and simply.

"You thought wrong," he sneered, removing the badge. "Ten points from Gryffindor for making false assumptions."

'Well that could have been a lot worse,' thought Hermione giving Harry and Ron a reassuring smile while Snape wasn't looking. 'Little does he know the worst is yet to come.'

A.N A little short and a bit of a slow start but I didn't want to use my all the good stuff in the first chapter. It will get move eventful and informative. Thanks also to my beta Emily for making my story readable (instead of jiberish)! Please review with any comments, ideas or requests for pranks, ect you may have. In fact I would appreciate any serious ideas and suggestions.


	2. Chapter 2

A.N. The disclaimer still applies.

Chapter 2: Are You Playing With Fire?

The first week back had not exactly been relaxing. This was partly due to the vast amount of work the seventh years were being set and partly because of Professor Snape. He had been in a foul mood ever since Ginny had magically drawn Harry's glasses and scar on his face. Although he was unable to find the culprit, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny thought it wise to wait before their next task.

Hidden in an enclosed corner of the library, Hermione and Ginny filled Ron in on his task.

"So all I have to do," whispered Ron cautiously, "Is owl him with quizzes from magazines?"

"That's the task," Hermione answered.

"Preferably girly magazines, really embarrassing ones," smirked Ginny.

"Where am I supposed to get them?" asked Ron.

"Don't worry we aren't going to make you go and buy the magazines," said Ginny. "I brought these for you from my dormitory. All you have to do is choose a couple of quizzes and send them to him."

"Well I guess that's not too bad," Ron said cheerfully.

"This looks like a good one," Harry said laughingly, showing them one of the magazines he had been flicking through.

"Are you playing with fire?" asked Hermione, glancing through the list of questions. "Has he dated any friends of yours? Who are his female friends?"

"That's great," Ginny said, not bothering to hide her giggles. "You could also answer some of the questions for him."

"And give him his score at the end," Ron said sniggering loudly.

"Oh, here's another," whispered Hermione (A.N. She's whispering because she's in a library hehe) "What does his hair say about him?"

"I think that should just about do it." Ron grinned, ticking off his last answer and getting to his feet. "Right I'd better go to the Owlery and send them off."

OOOOO

"I wish the post would hurry up and arrive," grumbled Ron as he buttered himself a piece of toast.

"Shhhh, we don't want to make people suspicious you pillock," Ginny hissed.

Ron glared at her but didn't respond, mainly due to the large bite of toast he had just taken.

Finally the owls arrived. Harry and Hermione, who were sitting in their usual seats, facing Professor Snape, were watching out of the corner of their eye as an ordinary looking brown owl dropped a letter in front of Professor Snape.

"What's he doing?" muttered Ron as he pretended to be interested in his orange juice.

"He's reading them," Harry answered with great difficulty, as he was trying very hard not to laugh or move his lips too much.

"He's screwed them up," Hermione whispered excitedly. "He looks furious."

"He's looking 'round the Great Hall, act normal," muttered Harry.

"If you can remember how," Ginny said with a frown.

OOOOO

Professor Severus Snape was sitting in his usual seat at the staff table, moodily pushing his breakfast around his plate and taking the occasional sip of coffee. It had been over a week and he still hadn't found the suicidal fool who had made a mockery of him by drawing the Potter brat's scar and glasses on his face. Since then he had been forced to tolerate the devious looks, the smirks and sarcastic comments, and that was just Minerva. Dumbledore, of course, had been no help whatsoever. He seemed to find the whole thing so incredibly amusing; which gave the impression he knew exactly who was behind the whole thing, which only made him more irritable than usual.

There was a sudden rustling noise above, and a hundred owls came soaring through the open windows, carrying the morning mail. A large brown owl soared down and deposited a letter in front of him.

Tearing open the envelope, he removed what appeared to be two magazine cuttings.

'Are you playing with fire?

Has he dated any friends of yours?

No he's only had a couple of girlfriends.

If you moved to Australia tomorrow, he's most likely to…

Hit on your older sister at your leaving party.

3. He's most likely to compliment you on…

A. Compliment?'

Who are his female friends?

A. He doesn't have any that I know of.'

His expression, which was already black, darkened further as he read through the second article.

'What does his hair say about him?

At first glance, what's his hair like?

It's quite long and in his eyes.

Where does he keep his hairbrush?

He might buy one some day.

Would he ever wear a hair decoration?

Not if you paid him.

What hair products does he use?

Erm …'

He would kill the pathetic excuse for a human being who had sent him this. Angrily screwing the little bits of paper into a ball he glared around the Great Hall looking for his future victim. Unfortunately, he couldn't see anyone acting suspiciously.

'Ah well, on to plan B,' he thought viciously. 'Make everyone's life a living hell.'

OOOOO

"Wow Ginny what happened to you?"

Ginny had just smashed her way into the Gryffindor common room looking furious.

"Potions," she snapped.

"Ah, I see," said Hermione understandingly. "Not in one of his better moods then?"

"He took 100 points away and assigned 6 detentions and that was just the Slytherins."

"Do we have any points left?" asked a slightly apprehensive Harry.

"What do you think?" she muttered moodily.

"On the bright side," Ron added thoughtfully. "It means that our little plan is working and he obviously doesn't know who is responsible."

"We will have to be a lot more careful from now on though," warned Hermione.

"Yeah, don't want to get caught before we've really begun," said Ginny, cheering up slightly at the thought. "Besides, it's Harry's turn."

"I have the perfect prank," said Ron with a grin. "I've been saving this one especially for you."

"Oh yeah?"

"It involves you slipping a drop of Veritaserum, just a drop so he isn't forced to answer questions, we don't want to get in too much trouble if Dumbledore finds out," explained Ron. "Oh and add a bit of that laughing potion stuff for good measure."

"How am I supposed to do that without him noticing?" asked Harry.

"Well this is why I was saving this one for you," said Ron, grinning. "Ask Dobby to do it, he'll do anything for you and because he's a free elf he doesn't have to tell Snape the truth if he questions the house elves."

"Alright, I'll do it."

A.N. Thanks to my reviewers especially Narakusnoone who suggested the truth serum and laughing potion. Don't worry if I haven't used you suggestions I am merely saving them for later chapters. Sorry it took me so long to update I've been busy setting up my new computer which should be internet capable soon, so hopefully there will be more updates. The magazine quizzes were taken from Elle Girl. More reviews please!


	3. Chapter 3

A.N This chapter is not betaed but I will update this chapter as soon as it is. I was in a bit of a rush to add this chapter as it has been so long since I updated. Very sorry about this I hope you don't mind.

Chapter 3: There is Absolutely Nothing Remotely Funny at All.

"Did you get it?"

"Yeah, I've just taken it down to the kitchen," said Harry smiling at his three conspirators, who had settled in the groups favourite armchairs in the Gryffindor common room. "Dobby's going to put the potion in his drink tomorrow lunch."

"Oh good, just before our lesson," Hermione grinned.

"And since it looks like my task is ready, I thought we could get started on Ginny's next task," suggested Harry.

"Why, do you have something in mind?" asked Ginny, closing her copy or advanced Transfiguration.

"We could turn him into a ferret," recommended Ron.

"It would be too difficult to do that without him finding out what we're up to," sighed Hermione. "We'd probably get in trouble."

"Well I was thinking that Ginny could try hiding behind Snape whenever I walk by," said Harry. "She wouldn't get in too much trouble for that."

"How long do I have to do that for?" asked Ginny.

"I'd say four or five times," said Hermione, thoughtfully. "He should have guessed who you're hiding from by then."

"Fair enough, I'll do it."

ooooo

Severus Snape was walking along the corridor to the Great Hall for lunch when he heard a high-pitched squeal followed by a flash of red in the corner of his eye.

"Miss Weasley, what do you think you are doing?" he growled at her in irritation, he didn't have time to waste on her childish behaviour.

"Shhh," she hissed, moving around him to make sure she was properly concealed before peeping around him to watch Harry make his way down the corridor.

Severus followed her gaze and his eyes landed on Potter. 'But no, she couldn't be, he was imagining things,' he told himself. 'Why would Ginny Weasley be hiding from Potter?'

As Harry disappeared from view Ginny let out a sigh of relief, "Thanks Professor," she called and without further explanation she sped down the corridor before he could take away house points.

'Bloody Gryffindors,' he thought in annoyance as he continued on his way to lunch.

ooooo

Ginny rushed into the Great Hall to join her friends for lunch and fill them in on the progress of her task.

"So did he take any house points?" asked Ron.

"No, I decided to make a run for it before he could take any," she explained.

"Do you think he knew you were hiding from me?" Harry asked her grinning.

"Not sure, he must have suspected something though," she replied thoughtfully.

"Speak of the devil and he will appear," muttered Harry, alerting the others to the Potions Masters arrival in the Great Hall.

"I can't wait for Potions," smirked Ron.

"First time you've ever said that," laughed Harry.

"Don't get too excited," warned Hermione. "He has to drink it first."

"Come on drink it," Ginny whispered, as she surveyed her teacher through her eyelashes.

Ten minutes passed.

Then twenty.

"Doesn't this guy ever drink?" grumbled Ginny. "He must have been a camel in a past life or something."

"He better drink it after all the effort I went to to steal it," said Harry indignantly.

"Wait I think … yes he's drinking it," Ginny whispered excitedly.

"How long till the potion takes effect?" asked Harry.

"Well Veritaserum takes effect immediately," answered Hermione. "But the Laughing Potion takes a little longer, maybe ten minutes or so depending on how diluted it is."

"How about next time we do something like this, we do it before one of my lessons so I'm not missing out all the time," moaned Ginny.

"You're right," said Hermione apologetically. "Besides it might throw him off the scent, it'll look suspicious if all our pranks take place in our lesson."

"You'd better get to lesson, it looks like his finished eating and you don't want to miss anything," Ginny advised her friends.

ooooo

"… this potion when successfully brewed will cure those that are stung or bitten by venomous creatures. The ingredients," he waved his wand, "Are on the board."

There was the usual scraping of chairs and clattering of jars and equipment as the students began collecting and preparing the ingredients needed for their potion. While their Professor sat at his desk marking a pile of essays, occasionally looking up to check that they were all working or else to glare coldly in the direction of Harry and Neville.

About five minutes into the lesson Hermione heard an odd noise from the front of the room. It was Professor Snape. She watched as he frowned slightly and gave a little cough as though to clear his throat.

On the pretence of bending down to check the flame under her cauldron, Hermione turned to look at Harry who gave was adding knotgrass to his cauldron of boiling wine. He gave her a look that told her he had noticed the potion taking effect.

There was another cough from the front of the room, causing Hermione to bight her tongue, 'I mustn't laugh or he'll know I had something to do with it. Remain calm and keep working.'

A few more minutes passed and Snape gave another cough and she noticed that his normally pale face was slightly flushed with the effort of trying to resist the potion. Unfortunately for him he wasn't able to hold out any longer he quickly, finally a short bark of laughter managed to escape his lips, which he quickly stifled with his hand and tried to look as though nothing had happened.

However, several of the students had heard and looked up to stare at their teacher before exchanging puzzled looks with their neighbours.

Finally the potion seemed to be coming into full effect as Professor Snape burst out laughing, no longer able to contain himself. Tears were streaming down his face as he clutched his side with one hand and steadied himself by the table with the other.

The students looked up with expressions of mingled horror and surprise.

"What's so funny?" muttered Seamus giving his teacher a nervous look as though he might attack them at any second.

"Nothing. There is absolutely nothing remotely funny at all Mr. Finnigan," he'd apparently heard the question and Hermione assumed the Veritaserum was forcing him to answer.

"Professor?" asked Draco Malfoy uncertainly. "Are…are you okay?"

"I think I'm suffering the effects of a potion," he managed to gasp out in the midst of his magically induced laughing fit. "I'm guessing it's a combination of Veritaserum and a Laughing Potion, would you mind fetching Madam Pomfrey, the rest of you are dismissed."

A.N Finally an update, whew! Thank you so much for your reviews. My next update should be in the next few days. The potion the students brew in this chapter is supposed to be an actual potion from 1653 by Nicholas Culpeper and involves boiling knotgrass in wine.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N Okay so a couple of days turned into about two weeks but the good news is my computer is all set up so I have plenty of time to update now! This chapter's a bit slow but the next one should be better I hope.

Chapter 4: Stash of Snape Memorabilia

"Right, Hermione, I have the perfect next task for you," Ginny announced proudly. "It serves the dual purpose of freaking him out and covering our tracks."

"Sounds promising," grinned Hermione.

"Yeah especially when you consider how angry he was," sighed Ron happily. Ernie Macmillan told me he'd overheard Snape arguing with Dumbledore and threatening to quit and everything. He seemed to think Dumbledore knew more about what had happened than he was letting on."

"You don't think he knows it was us though, do you?" Hermione started to panic slightly.

"He probably does, he knows pretty much everything else that happens around here. I'm sure if he wanted us to stop he'd say something to us though," he added reassuringly.

"Well in that case I think you'd better let us in on this amazing task you have lined up," Hermione rolled her eyes in mock defeat.

"I want you to drop hints that Filch likes in him a little more than strictly necessary," said Ginny, returning Hermiones smile.

"How does that cover out tracks?" Harry asked, looking confused.

"We hint that it was Filch who spiked Snapes drink in the hope of finding out if Snape had any feelings for him, but due to his lack of magical ability, he messed up," explained Ginny.

"Do you think he'd believe a silly rumour like that though?" supposed Ron.

"He might if we left a few little clues pointing in that direction," said Harry slyly.

"Clues like what?" asked Ginny.

"Like a picture of Snape in his office and the bottle of Laughing Potion I still have left in my trunk," recommended Harry. "That way we could get rid of the evidence as well."

"Where are we going to get a picture of Snape though?" said Hermione thoughtfully.

"We could try looking through the collection of old Prophets in the library," suggested Ginny. "There must be an article or something about his being cleared of Deatheater charges after 'You-Know-Who' disappeared."

"I guess there's no time like the present, I have a task to do," smirked Hermione.

ooooo

"Found one!" exclaimed Hermione, triumphantly waving the newspaper containing their photograph of Snape.

"Bit small isn't it?" asked Ron.

"Well unless you have a secret stash of Snape memorabilia hidden under your bed it will have to do," said Ginny.

Ron smiled at her sarcastically.

"Someone should go and distract Filch whilst I go and plant the photo and the bottle in his office," Hermione suggested.

"I'll go," offered Ginny.

"Me too," said Harry.

"I'll help Hermione, I can stand guard outside or something," said Ron.

"How long will you need to get into his office?" asked Ginny

Hermione thought for a moment. "He won't have loads of wards and spells to get through so not long, about five minutes."

"I think I should give you the map and the cloak though, just to be on the safe side," said Harry brightly. "I'll run and get it and meet you at the end of the corridor to Filchs office."

ooooo

"This plan just gets better and better," whispered Ginny, peering around the corridor where they had observed Filch earlier on the map.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"Look who Filch is talking to," said Ginny in a sing song voice.

Harry carefully, so as not to be seen, glanced round the corner and spotted Filch talking to Snape at the other end of the corridor.

"What do you mean?" Harry looked confused. "How is Snape being here a good thing?"

"I'm still in the middle of my task, remember?" grinning wickedly, Ginny turned the corner and made her way down the corridor towards Snape.

Harry waited until she was half way down the corridor before following. As Ginny reached the end of the corridor she casually glanced behind her and gave a theatrical jump upon seeing Harry behind her. Harry watched in amusement as Ginny pretended to look desperately for somewhere to hide before once again taking refuge behind the Potions Master.

"Miss Weasley, not again, what on Earth has got into you?" barked Severus. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Harry approaching and lost his temper. "Potter, Weasley. I don't know what this is all about but you will stop it this instant because if you continue to annoy me with this stupid game I will make you suffer. Now go back to your common room immediately!"

Harry and Ginny both gave identical looks of innocence but decided it best not to push their luck any further and left the corridor without a word.

ooooo

"Oh Sue you'll never believe this but I heard the most amazing bit of gossip the other day!"

"Really what about?" Susan asked looking sceptically at her friend. It wasn't unusual for Hannah to spread or start rumours, most of which were untrue.

"Well don't tell anyone I told you but…" here she dropped her voice. "I hear Filch spiked Professor Snape's drink last week with the laughing potion."

"Why would he do that?"

"Apparently he's fancied Snape for ages and wanted to see if he had a chance. So he slipped him some kind of truth potion."

"I thought it was Laughing Potion," Susan looked confused.

"That's because he mixed them up," she explained. "He's a Squib you know so he's not very good at magic."

Although Hannah and Susan had been talking in whispers during most of their conversation, as with other people who are prone to gossip, they hadn't thought to check for anyone listening in on their little chat. Unfortunately they didn't now that they were standing by the staffroom door which had been left slightly ajar.

Professor Snape was sitting poker straight in his favourite chair in the otherwise empty staff room.

A.N Thank you to everyone who reviewed I'm glad people find this so funny. More reviews and suggestions please! Even if it's just to request something of Amanda's list that you want to make sure I include.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: I'll Hold Albus's Lemon Sherbets Ransom

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all sat by the common room fire, surrounded by books and parchment on the pretence of doing their homework, while they gave Ron his second task.

"All we want you to do is send him one of these," at this point Harry lifted out from his bag (so no one else in the common room could see) a small black rabbit, "Every few weeks long with a card telling him the rabbit is called Minerva.

Ginny looked at Harry in surprise. "You want to give Snape bunny rabbits?"

"Why not?"

"He'll probably put them in jars to add to the rest of his collection," she protested.

"I don't think he will, it's far too time-consuming and messy, I'm pretty certain the jars in his office will have been bought from a store," Hermione pointed out.

Ginny still didn't look happy.

"Well we could send them to him while everyone is in the Great Hall," suggested Ron. "He wouldn't hurt the rabbit in front of Dumbledore and I doubt Professor McGonagall would let him harm anything that shared her name."

"Okay but if any of those rabbits get hurt we stop this task immediately," said Ginny, seriously.

"Agreed," promised Harry.

"I'd better hurry if I want to get this little surprise to him in time for dinner," Ron carefully concealed the rabbit safely in the pocket of his robe, along with some parchment and a bottle of ink.

"Here use this quill," offered Hermione. "It will disguise your hand writing."

"Thanks," said Ron gratefully before he climbed out of the portrait hole.

OOOOO

Professor Snape was sat at the staff table in the Great Hall, trying to finish his dinner as quickly and painlessly as possible. He had never felt so awkward in his life. The reason for his discomfort was that he was sat next to Filch, who he had previously got on well with. However, since he had overheard the conversation between Miss Abbott and Miss Bones, not to mention several other students (some of them from Slytherin), he couldn't even look at the man. Every time Filch looked as if he was going to say something to him he hastily turned away from his and tried to make conversation with Minerva who was sat on his other side. As if this wasn't embarrassing enough it seemed he wasn't the only one who had heard these rumours, Minerva had the nerve to try and include Filch in the conversation, all the while giving him smug looks.

'Could this get any worse?' he thought rolling his eyes at his plate.

Suddenly a large tawny owl entered the Hall carrying a package towards him.

As Severus removed the owl's package a voice sounded desperately in the back of his mind, 'Please don't let it be a "present" from Filch.'

Opening the box cautiously (after all, Filch had, apparently, already spiked his drink without him realising), he peeked inside before closing the lid of the box with one hand and covering his eyes with his other hand as though praying for strength.

"Early Christmas present Severus?" asked Minerva.

"More like a bloody nightmare," he growled.

"Why, what is it?" she asked, ignoring his usual less than friendly response.

In reply Severus merely pushed the box in her direction to indicate his permission for her to see for herself.

"It's just a rabbit," she said. "What's so bad about that? It's rather sweet… and it's called Minerva."

"It's called what?" barked Severus. "I'm not having a pet rabbit, especially one that is called Minerva."

"Why what's wrong with Minerva?" his colleague snapped. "Besides you don't have a choice, it was a gift so you have to keep it, isn't that right Albus?"

"Oh yes quite right," at a look from Severus he added firmly, "Don't take this the wrong way but I will be checking up on you to make sure you look after this charming creature."

Severus merely scowled and ate the rest of his dinner rather huffily, avoiding talking to anyone.

OOOOO

"So how many are you going to give him?" asked Ginny.

"Well I got nine copies," said Hermione. "All signed by the way."

"I'm sending him one every morning at breakfast, leaving another on his desk in the classroom and another outside his office for the next three days," said Harry.

"This one is sure to annoy the hell out of him," sniggered Ron.

"I'm surprised the rabbit didn't annoy him as much as I thought it might," Harry sounded a little disappointed.

"I hear Dumbledore is making him keep little Minerva," chuckled Hermione.

"Where'd you hear that?" asked Ron, surprised.

Hermione leaned closer to her friends and whispered, "I ran into Professor McGonagall this morning and she hinted that Snape had a new, relatively small companion which Dumbledore was exceptionally keen to encourage."

OOOOO

Severus watched with an increasing sense of dread as a barn owl glided in the direction of the staff table where he was sitting with a similar sulky expression to the one he had worn at dinner the night before.

'I swear if this is another dim-witted joke I'll hold Albus's Lemon Sherbets ransom in exchange for information on the complete fool who keeps doing this to me.'

Reluctantly he ripped off the paper to find a signed copy of Lockhart's latest biography detailing his miraculous recovery and release from St Mungos.

A.N. SHOCK another update so soon! No I'm not ill (as far as I'm aware). Thank you all so to all the people who reviewed and keep them coming. Also I am in need of a new beta (as you probably noticed) so if anyone would like to volunteer (or just read the chapter before everyone else lol) I'd be very grateful.


	6. Chapter 6

A.N.. I just wanted to remind people that I don't own Harry Potter and I don't make any cash from doing this, also, please don't worry if your suggestions haven't made it into the story yet, I'm saving them for future chapters (don't want to use up all the good material in the beginning :o ). Sorry I took so long to post the next chapter and for my late replies to any messages I don't mean to be rude but I get distracted so easily.

Chapter Six: Attracting your Attention.

"Nine bloody copies of that blasted Lockhart book not to mention the three loathsome rabbits I'm being forced to look after," Professor Snape was currently sitting in the Headmasters office, attempting to gain information on the person (or persons) responsible for his suffering over the last few weeks.

He'd tried reasoning, begging and various threats but the old wizard still tried to act as if he had no idea what was going on, however, the usual twinkle in his eyes gave him away, "I'm very sorry to hear that this school year hasn't started off as well as you'd hoped Severus but I'm afraid that on this occasion I am unable to help you with this problem."

In answer to this comment he snorted humourlessly at his friend and employer before asking, "Well could you at least give me some idea as to why this is happening to me?"

"I can think of a few reasons why someone would play these types of pranks," Dumbledore answered smiling. "However, considering you are the sole subject of these pranks I suspect it's merely someone's way of _attracting your attention_."

'Attract his attention? Who would… please no, it really couldn't be,' his eyes widened in horror and he hastily excused him self from the Headmasters office. 'Please let it be anyone but Filch.'

"I know, we could try painting our own picture of him," suggested Hermione. "You know, capture the real Snape with his patented death glare and all."

"Great idea," said Ginny. "Where should we put it though?"

"Hmm, where would have the best effect?" they both looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing. "The Great Hall."

"We can get up really early and set it up in front of the staff table," Hermione recommended. "Then everyone will see it."

"We can add some candles and a dish with offerings on," Ginny added thoughtfully.

"That's not too complicated," decided Hermione.

"The only problem is I'm not too good at painting," Ginny admitted.

"Even better," Hermione laughed.

"Tomorrow at 6.00am then?" asked Ginny.

"I'd be happy to help," said Hermione, giving her friend a wide smile.

Following his conversation with the Headmaster the evening before, Professor Snape decided to avoid everybody as much as possible, students and staff alike. Which is why he was to be found at 6.03am on a Saturday morning making his way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

However, his hopes of having a solitary meal were ruined when he heard whispered voices coming from the Hall. Severus peered curiously around the door to see who was up so early. He was somewhat surprised to see Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley huddled near the centre of the staff table.

He walked across the Hall and stood silently watching them for a few moments before speaking. "Having fun are we?"

Hardly daring to turn round Hermione and Ginny pulled identical faces, which clearly expressed their horror that they had been caught, before turning to face their Professor. One look at his face was enough to make them completely lose their heads as they both squealed and ran from the Great Hall almost knocking Severus off his feet in their hurry to get a way from the exceptionally angry teacher.

Dumbledore was surprised to be woken up at 6.15am by particularly loud knocking on his office door.

Opening his door he was further surprised to see Miss Granger and Miss Weasley standing on the other side of the door, both looking out of breath and extremely terrified.

"Headmaster you have to help us," gasped Hermione.

"Please don't let Professor Snape kill us," begged Ginny.

"Ah, I see," Dumbledore nodded knowingly, suppressing a chuckle, he stepped aside so that they could enter his office.

He conjured them both a seat before settling himself in his own chair behind his desk. "I take it Severus has found out who is responsible for the recent pranks that have been played on him?"

"I'm really sorry Professor," Hermione guiltily looked up from the floor to look Dumbledore in the face. To her surprise however, he didn't look the least bit angry. In fact he was wearing a look that gave the impression that he was rather enjoying himself.

"No need to apologise Miss Granger and let me reassure you both that Professor Snape will not be attempting to kill you," his blue eyes twinkled at them behind his glasses.

"And we're not going to be expelled?" asked Hermione.

"There's nothing in the school rules forbidding harmless pranks," Dumbledore continued to smile serenely.

Hermione and Ginny both exchange a worried glance.

"Also without further evidence," Dumbledore continued, "I'm afraid I cannot hold you responsible for the more serious matter involving Veritaserum."

The two girls visibly relaxed in their seats, looking slightly more cheerful. They were off the hook and there was nothing Snape could do about it.

A.N. Not much going on in the way of pranks but at least Severus knows the two main culprits responsible for his suffering, plus the romance part of the story is at last, slowly starting to make an appearance. Review please, let me know what you think of what has already happened, or is going to happen (how will Snape react when Dumbledore tells him they effectively got away with it, do you think he should get his own back, will he find out about Harry and Ron's involvement, ect?). To be honest I wasn't sure whether I should have him catch them in this chapter, I was going to sort of lead you on if you know what I mean but in the end I just wanted him to find out. Keep prank suggestions coming I've still got plenty more to write.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. Greyfalcon- Dumbledore can't help being an interfearing old codger (I mean that in a nice way) but he has his reasons. Don't worry though, after all 'an eye for an eye.'

Amberhawk- I get the strangest feeling you wanted another chapter, so here it is.

KieraLee- Thank you for the Peace, Love, and Llamas.

Chapter Seven: Dumbledore's Orders

"Severus I'm afraid that there is nothing that I can do," Dumbledore gently tried to explain to the enraged Potions Master. "There is nothing in the school rules forbidding the students from setting up a shrine to one of their teachers."

"Right so we're just going to let them get away with it" snapped Severus.

"That's the spirit Severus. Other people would probably try to get revenge but I'm pleased to see you're taking this so well," Dumbledore replied with a mischievous wink.

Dumbledore's comment stopped the Professors outburst short. "Yes that _is_ a good point Albus, I'm glad we had this chat."

OOOOO

After Hermione's and Ginny's account of what had transpired that morning, they had decided it was better to confine themselves to the Gryffindor common room as much as possible for the next few weeks and when they did have to leave the common room it was usually in the company of their fellow seventh years, thinking it safer to travel in numbers.

To their immense astonishment the Potions Master appeared to have taken the whole thing rather well. During their last potions lesson he didn't take any more points from Gryffindor than he usually did, he didn't try to give them detention or acknowledge them in any way at all.

Ron told them not to complain, that Dumbledore had prevented him from taking further action, but Hermione and Ginny couldn't help but think they had been wrong in their earlier belief that they were off the hook and that Snape was trying to lure them into a false sense of security.

The next few weeks went by with out further incident unless you count Peeves forming his own cheerleading squad (it wasn't much of a squad as he was the sole member) and performing his own incredibly rude cheers and dances dedicated to each of the teachers.

Late one Sunday morning Ginny was woken up by Hermione who had promised to help her with a particularly complicated Transfiguration essay.

"Get up Ginny I don't gave all day you know," Hermione rolled her eyes at her friend who was still half asleep.

"All right, all right can I just have a minute to get dressed," she muttered, suppressing a yawn.

Hermione snorted knowing just how long it usually took Ginny to get dressed. "I'll meet you in the common room when you're ready."

Just as Hermione was walking through the door she heard Ginny give a scream behind her, followed by a bang and a sort of crackling noise that reminded Hermione of… "FIRE!"

Hermione rushed to help her friend and together they attempted to douse the fire. As soon as the last of the flames was extinguished Hermione saw the cause of the fire, the bang and the reason for Ginny's scream.

"Ginny, why is there a Blast-Ended-Skrewet in your underwear draw?" she asked.

"How the Hell should I know?" she asked sounding angry.

"Excuse me Ginny," said Hermione apologetically as she sifted through the remains of Ginny's underwear looking for clues.

At last she discovered the only item in the draw not to have been damaged in the fire. It was an envelope containing a short note, written on a piece of parchment, baring the words, "An eye for an eye."

OOOOO

"Are you sure about this?" Harry asked uncertainty.

"Harry he set fire to my underwear," she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Not personally," he reasoned in an attempt to get out helping Hermione and Ginny with anymore of their insane plans.

"He still doesn't know you had anything to do with it," argued Hermione. "If it makes you feel better then Ginny and I will take the blame for anything that goes wrong."

Harry and Ron stared at her in astonishment. Hermione Granger offering to take the blame for something that could tarnish her good school record?

"Please," Ginny begged, and giving them the type of pout that always gets you what you want (A.N. I've used this expression many times to great success).

"All right we'll continue to help," said Harry and Ron giving in at last.

OOOOO

Professor Snape was just walking toward the main stair case in the Entrance Hall. He was in an extraordinarily good mood having got his revenge on the Weasley girl; he was just plotting a way to settle the score with Granger when he unexpectedly found himself being enveloped in a surprisingly tight hug.

"Granger," he snapped. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Giving you a hug," Hermione explained in a tone that suggested she was talking to a small child. He heard several students who were hanging around chatting before their next lesson laugh.

"Don't you have lessons to go to?" he barked, his good mood was beginning to fade. "Five points from all of you."

"Why are you hugging me?" he asked her, she noticed he sounded a little touchy.

"Dumbledore's orders," she said innocently before smiling at him and following her friends out of the main door, down to the Quidditch Pitch.

A.N. Another update yay me! Still no beta, someone did offer to do the job, unfortunatly due to problems on I cant even find my story which means I can't yet find the reviewer who offered to help sob. It also means I can't find their suggestions for my story which just goes to show that it is very wise to write these things down (which I am now doing promise). Thank you to all the demented... erm... lovely people who took the time to read and review. This is the point where I now beg for more, PLEASE! Any ideas for pranks Snape should pull on Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny (this is proving more difficult than I thought). Name a prank and pick a victim!


	8. Chapter 8

A.N. Sorry I took so long to update, I had a lot of university work to get through. Luckily I now have three weeks off so hopefully I can get more chapters done quickly.

Chapter 8:

"I can't believe you just got away with that," said Ron incredulously.

"Oh, I don't think I got away with it," Hermione answered coolly. "I'm sure he'll devise some way of getting me back. In fact I'd be disappointed if he didn't."

"I bet you would," Ginny muttered so no one else could hear.

They had now reached the stands of the Quidditch Pitch where they had decided to spend the only free period they had together away from the other students.

"Well it's my turn next," sighed Ron as he took a seat and looked expectantly at his friends.

"You'll be pleased to hear that this is a short task," said Harry. "For this task I thought it might be funny if you imply that Lupin was the only deserving applicant for the Defence Against the Dark Arts job."

"That's it?" asked Ron doubtfully.

"Well we don't want to give you too much yet since he doesn't know that you're involved," Ginny told him.

Having set Ron his next task they spent the next half an hour discussing how Snape might get his revenge, Quidditch and the next Hogsmeade weekend before Ginny went back to the castle for Transfiguration and Harry, Ron and Hermione made there way to Hagrid's hut for Care of Magical Creatures. They had just rounded a corner of the lake near Hagrid's home when they walked, almost literally, into Professor Snape.

"Potter, Weasley your lesson is about to start, why don't you run along, I need to have a word with Miss Granger."

The three of them knew that he was up to something. How could he not be? Unfortunately neither Harry nor Ron had a choice. They spared Hermione a worried glance before continuing to their class.

Professor Snape waited until Harry and Ron were out of hearing range before speaking. "I hope you know what you are doing Miss Granger."

"Whatever do you mean Professor?" Hermione asked sweetly.

"This is your last warning," he growled. "Continue to annoy me and this mornings retribution will be nothing compared to the humiliation I could cause you."

"Consider me warned," she replied in the same innocent voice.

Severus glared furiously at her; he moved forward intending to scare her slightly. However, this action caused Hermione to step back onto the slimy rocks at the edge of the lake. The Potions Master instinctively tried to grab hold of her arm to stop her falling but didn't move quickly enough. Hermione fell backwards into the water and for one terrifying moment Severus thought she might not immerge again. Fortunately Hermione's head broke the surface of the water a few moments later, coughing up the water she had accidentally swallowed.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Severus asked, holding out his hand so he could pull her out of the lake.

"I'm just fantastic," she replied sardonically. "What could possibly be more fun than being in a freezing cold lake in bloody November?"

After a few moments struggling Severus was finally able to pull the now completely drenched and shivering Hermione out of the ice cold water.

"I'd better get you to Madam Pomfrey, I don't want you catching cold." Seeing the curious look she gave his he added hastily, "Minerva would have my head if you had to miss classes."

"For a second I thought you might actually feel guilty for pushing me in the lake," she responded sarcastically.

"I didn't push you in the lake," he retorted defensively.

"As good as," she mumbled grumpily.

After a few seconds awkward silence the Potions Master turned and led the way back up to the castle, walking slightly slower than usual so that she could keep up with him.

OOOOO

"Hermione, are you alright?" Harry asked his friend worriedly. "What did Snape do? Why didn't you show up to class?"

"I'm fine Harry. Snape didn't _really_ do anything and I didn't show up the class because …" Hermione paused, feeling slightly embarrassed, "I fell in the lake."

"You what?" asked Ginny disbelievingly.

"I'm not repeating it," she told them irritably.

"You fell in the lake," Ron laughed loudly.

"Tell everyone why don't you," Ginny threw a cushion at his head which immediately stopped his laughter.

"What did Snape do when you fell in the lake?" Harry asked, trying not to smile.

"He helped me out and took me to the hospital wing," she responded with a shrug.

Harry thought it was rather odd behaviour from Snape. He looked at Ron and Ginny to see their reactions to this piece of information. Ron didn't seem to have noticed anything as he continued to flick unenthusiastically through his Charms book. Ginny, on the other hand, was smiling as though she had just heard a rather amusing joke. He made a mental note to ask her about this later.

A.N. Haha romance at long last I hear you cry. Not much in the way of pranks but I'll make up for that in the next chapter. Review please I need more ideas and feed back.


	9. Chapter 9

A.N. This chapter's been done a while but I've had internet troubles.

Chapter 9: Ron, You Are A Genius.

"I don't know we did learn a lot from Moody," reasoned Dean Thomas.

Several Gryffindor seventh years, including Harry, Ron and Hermione, were waiting outside the door to the Potions classroom, having what appeared to be a serious discussion about the numerous teachers who had filled the post of their Defense Against the Dark Arts class over the years.

"That doesn't make him a perfect candidate for teaching Defense though, does it?" said Ron, rolling his eyes.

"Well who do you think was the best man for the job then?" asked Dean.

"Well its obvious isn't it?" Ron played for time as he saw the Potions Master striding towards them, waiting till he was in hearing distance of the group before adding, "It doesn't take a genius to work out that Professor Lupin is the only deserving applicant to ever apply for the Defense job."

They noticed Snape suddenly stop dead in his tracks.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for talking too loudly in the hallway, all of you, inside NOW," he barked.

The class hurried inside the classroom, eager to avoid losing points or being given detention.

OOOOO

"Twenty points for talking too loudly in the hallway?" Ron snorted, as he piled food onto his plate.

"It could have been worse Ron," Hermione offered consolingly as she raised her goblet to take a drink of pumpkin juice, which she dimly noticed tasted a bit sour.

"Wish I could take points off him for being an appalling git."

"Ron, you are a genius," Ginny exclaimed, sitting up in her seat.

"I am?" Ron, his mouth full of mashed potato, tried to give Ginny a puzzled look, but failed miserably.

"You just gave me an idea for a great task," she explained excitedly. "Take points from Professor Snape whenever the urge strikes."

"Could you imagine the look on his face if we did that?" Harry's expression glazed over as he pictured Snape's reaction in his head.

"It's Harry's turn next though," Hermione pointed out. "He might guess you're involved if you do that."

"Ah well, he'll find out sooner or later and this task is defiantly worth it," Harry grinned at his friends, excitement written on his face.

OOOOO

Hermione was sat in her usual seat in the Transfiguration classroom, waiting for Professor McGonagall to arrive and the lesson to start. She was staring idly at the back of Neville's head, who was sitting in the front row; only half paying attention to the conversation Ron and Harry were having next to her. Finally Professor McGonagall entered, carrying a stack of rolled up parchments in her arms.

"Ah, Miss Patil, before we begin could you please hand out the homework from last lesson?"

Parvati took the rolls of parchment and set about returning them to her classmates.

"Today we will be continuing our lesson the Crocinus Avis spell. You and your partner will continue to take it in turns attempting the spell," Professor McGonagall instructed the group. "By the end of the lesson I expect most of you to have made satisfactory progress."

"Here you go Hermione," said Parvati, as she handed Hermione her homework back.

"Not bad I got an A," Harry looked over at Ron and Hermione. "How'd you do?"

Hermione groaned. "I can't believe it, I got another T."

"What, Hermione I thought you told me that you studied this time, how can you have got another T," Ron gave his friend a half disappointed, half disapproving look.

"Not all of us can be top of our lessons Ron, sorry if I'm not as perfect as you," Hermione's eyes were rapidly filling with tears.

"Look lets not get upset about it Hermione," Harry hurriedly intervened. "Come on we'll work together okay?"

Hermione nodded and took a deep breath to calm her self down before she and Harry started work on the complex spell that would turn people into canaries.

"Okay why don't you go first Hermione," suggested Harry.

Hermione, in truth, didn't think much to this suggestion. She just knew she was going to mess the spell up. However, she did as Harry told her and lifted her wand to perform the spell. As she had predicted, her wand let out a deafening bang which caused Neville to fall out of his chair and the entire class to be engulfed in thick black smoke.

"Oh I'm sorry Harry," wailed Hermione. "Are you alright? I didn't hurt you did I?"

The smoke cleared and in the place where Harry had been sitting, there was only a scorched and smoking pair of glasses.

Hermione screamed.

"Hermione," she could hear a familiar female voice shouting her name.

'It's probably just Professor McGonagall expelling me for killing Harry,' she thought turning toward the sound of the voice. However, it wasn't Professor McGonagall and she wasn't in the Transfiguration classroom either. She was in her bed in Gryffindor Tower, being roughly woken by Lavender Brown.

"Hermione, you were having a nightmare," said Lavender. "Are you alright?"

"Is Harry alright?" Hermione asked her friend urgently.

Lavender looked puzzled by the question. "Yeah I think so."

"Right listen carefully Lavender, because this next question is very important," Hermione took a deep breath before asking, "Am I the worst student in the school?"

Lavender looked at Hermione like she'd grown another head before bursting into a fit of laughter. "You the worst student in the school, what on Earth would make you think that?"

Hermione coloured slightly, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief.

"Is that what your nightmare was about?" Lavender asked slyly, rolling her eyes when Hermione didn't answer. "Well you have no need to panic Hermione you are and always will be the smartest witch in our year; I'll see you at breakfast."

When Lavender exited the room Hermione sat down on her bed thinking. It had been such a realistic dream and made her feel sick just thinking about it. She decided to go down to breakfast; maybe she should tell Ginny about it. She didn't want to mention it to Harry and Ron; they would only laugh at her. Feeling slightly better, Hermione got dressed and made her way down to the Great Hall.

A.N. Cocinus Avis : Yellow Bird (roughly translated).


	10. Chapter 10

A.N. I'm back at last, sorry it took so long. I've finished university for the year and the good news is that I'm not getting a job this summer so I can get back to my writing – yay!

Chapter 10: Things that freak him out.

"Longbottom, how many times do I have to tell you?" barked Professor Snape. "You need to let the potion come to a slow boil before you add ..."

"Five points from Professor Snape!"

Every single person in the room instantly stopped what they were doing. The only movement was the twenty or so pairs of eyes that all turned in unison the gaze first at Harry and then their teacher.

"What?"

It wasn't really a question. There was the distinct sound of a challenge in the Professors voice. He was daring Harry to repeat what he had just said.

"I said five points from Professor Snape."

Harry vaguely noticed that his voice was oddly calm, almost as if he had merely made a comment about the weather. Much to his surprise he hadn't finished, "For unnecessary aggression and disrespect towards a student."

He was now flicking almost casually through his potions textbook, not daring to look up as the Potions master loomed over him. Part of him was quite pleased with how well the plan seemed to be working, he could just see in his mind the expression on Snape's face. The silence stretched as Snape continued to look at him and Harry resolutely kept his eyes on his book. He began to worry about what Snape was going to do to him.

"Out!"

Harry didn't move a muscle.

"I said get out!" bellowed Snape.

Harry thought it was better to do as he was told whilst he was still breathing. He leapt out of his seat and was out of the room in an instant. He didn't even bother to collect his things or tidy his desk.

OOOOO

"Do you think he'll kill you in your sleep or wait until our next lesson?"

Ron dropped Harry's things on his lap before flopping down into the chair next to him. The three of them were once again sat in the Gryffindor common room, which was almost empty due to the fact that most of the students were still in class.

"Well if he's waiting till our next lesson he'll be waiting a long time because there's no way I'm going to set foot in the dungeons ever again."

"I think we might be better of trying something a little different," Hermione's voice sounded grim.

"I think we should try moving to Brazil," muttered Harry.

"I mean we should try doing things that freak him out rather than making him angry, at least till he calms down," she explained.

"And I bet you already have a few ideas," sighed Ron.

Hermione gave them a slightly mischievous smile.

OOOOO

'So Potter was in on it too. Which means if Potter, Granger and Miss Weasley were involved it was a safe bet that Mr Weasley also had something to do with their silly games.'

Severus Snape was sat in his office contemplating more ways to get his revenge, looking very much like a Bond villain with one of the five rabbits (all called Minerva) sleeping on his lap. He smiled evilly.

OOOOO

Ginny sat with her head resting on her hand, doodling almost absent-mindedly, waiting for her potions lesson to begin.

"Today we will be brewing the Accelero potion, instructions are on pages 253 to 255," Professor Snape informed the class. "Oh and good news for those of you running low or rabbit feet, I have a fresh supply on my desk, there will be no need to talk you may begin."

Ginny's head snapped up to look at him in horror.

'He wouldn't.'

Snape was looking at her smiling nasty as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

'Yes he would.'

OOOOO

Severus Snape was in a good mood. He had worn that same smile all day much to the distress of his students. Even the thought of marking essays wasn't going to ruin his good mood. Then again he could be wrong. He had just picked up Ginny Weasley's homework. The first thing he noticed was a large heart scribbled in the corner of the page with the words 'cute Harry' written neatly inside of it. He deducted five marks from her homework and wrote a harsh note about putting graffiti on her essay. Thank god none of his other students were stupid enough write drivel like that on their essays.

Twenty minutes later...

"Cute Neville?"

OOOOO

"Are you sure Ginny," asked Ron. "He might not have."

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were huddled in a corner of one of the unused classrooms where the students were spending their break due to the pouring rain. Ginny had just finished telling them about her potions lesson and her concern that Snape might have harmed the rabbits they had been sending him.

"It might just be some trick to get us back," Hermione suggested. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"I'm telling you he killed them to use in potions, you should have seen the way he was looking at me," Ginny seethed. "I'm going to McGonagall, there's no way she'll let him get away with what he's done."

OOOOO

'Did she really think Longbottom was cute?' Severus pulled a face at the thought.

She couldn't possibly think he was good enough for her. She's way too smart.

'She might be in love with him. She's always tried to help him in lessons.'

His stomach knotted unpleasantly at the thought.

A.N. Accelero – Speed in Latin. Rabbits feet were once used in potions to increase speed.


	11. Chapter 11

A.N. Another chapter already whew! Thanks for all the reviews; I've really missed doing this.

Chapter 11: You Can't Get Your Own Back If You're Dead.

Christmas was approaching fast; snow was falling thickly upon the castle grounds. In the Great Hall there were a dozen Christmas trees covered in enchanted snow and thick streamers of tinsel, holly and mistletoe covering the walls and ceiling. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were sat in the Great Hall discussing their plans for the next Hogsmead trip which would take place at the end of the week.

"If you and Harry want to go and pick up some new Quidditch supplies, then why don't Ginny and I meet up with you in the Three Broomsticks? " suggested Hemione.

"Sounds good to me," said Harry, helping himself to another slice of treacle tart.

"Oh and while we're in Hogsmead I thought we could do a bit of research for Ron's next task," said Ginny.

"What do I have to do?" he asked.

"I thought it would be funny to subscribe to some dodgy magazines in his name, we could have a look in a few of the shops and see what we can find," answered Ginny.

"Yeah, alriaaaAAAAHHHH!"

There was a loud pop followed by Ron's scream. All four jaws dropped open as one, taking in each others appearance. Much to their amazement Harry and Ron's clothes had disappeared only to be replaced by bright pink bikinis; however, that wasn't the only reason for their surprise. Hermione and Ginny were now sporting very bushy moustaches not unlike the one belonging to Vernon Dursley. The laughter of their fellow students could be heard as all four of them sprinted to the Gryffindor common room.

OOOOO

"That's it, the gloves are definitely coming off now," fumed a now moustache-less Ginny.

The four of them had taken refuge in a disused classroom; none of them felt much like facing the rest of the school after such an embarrassing ordeal.

"You're telling me," groaned Harry. "I wish he had killed me now."

"You can't get your own back if you're dead," Hermione pointed out.

"We need to think of something even more humiliating to do to him," said Ron, looking unusually thoughtful.

'I might be able to help you with that,' thought the figure, watching them silently through a gap in the door.

OOOOO

Having decided to risk breakfast in the Great Hall, the four Gryffindors were sat as far away from their potions teacher as they could get.

"Mails here," said Ron looking up. "Looks like you've got a letter Harry."

Harry looked up in surprise as Hedwig flew towards him, a letter clamped firmly in her beak. Harry took the letter while Hedwig took a bit of his leftover toast and flew back to the owlery.

"Do you think it's safe to open?" asked Ginny, giving the letter a suspicious look. "It might be from Snape."

Hermione took the letter from Harry and tried a few spells but there didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. Taking the letter back, Harry opened it and looked cautiously inside before removing the small piece of parchment inside.

"What is it?" asked Ron.

"It's an address," said Harry, still looking at the parchment in his hand.

"Whose address?" asked Ginny.

Harry showed them.

Mrs E Snape

29 Maple Avenue

Dunton Green

KENT

"Mrs E Snape?" frowned Ron.

Ginny giggled. "I bet it's his mum."

"Who would send us his mums address?" said Harry. "And why?"

"Perhaps they want us to write to her," suggested Hermione.

"About what?"

"I don't know but I'm sure we can think of something," Hermione smirked.

OOOOO

Ginny's next potions lesson proceeded in the usual way (after being persuaded by Professor McGonagall that the rabbits hadn't really been used in potions). Twenty cauldrons were bubbling between the wooden desks as Professor Snape prowled through the fumes, every now and then pausing to take points from Gryffindor.

BANG!

The door to the potions class room was flung open and in the door way stood...

"Mum?" Snape was stood in the middle of the classroom, a mingled look of horror and surprise written on his pallid features. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because I received a very interesting report about your behaviour," she replied frostily.

This had to be some sort of nightmare. Who would be writing reports to his mother about his behaviour; he was 40 years old for Gods sake?

"I'll be waiting in your office, I want a word with you when your lesson is over," she told him sternly before exiting the room, closing the dungeon door behind her.

He stood frozen in the middle of the room, not noticing the students looking at him with wide smiles, trying to stifle their laughter with their hands.

OOOOO

"You should have seen it," said Ginny, holding her side which was aching from too much laughing. "You did a brilliant job on that letter Harry."

"It didn't require much effort," Harry shrugged. "I just wrote what I really thought."

They all laughed.

"I didn't think she'd come all the way down here to tell him off though," said Ron. "I thought he'd get a howler or something like that."

"I can honestly say it was one of the best lessons of my life," Ginny told them.

"I can't wait for our next prank," added Ron.

"Well it's my turn next," said Ginny. "What do you think I should do?"

"Nothing too over the top, at least not while his mums here," warned Hermione.

"You could ask him if he wants to meet your mum," Harry joked, making them all bust out laughing again.

"I've got it," exclaimed Ron. "Try and get him to give you detention and when he does start crying. Imagine how much trouble that would get him into with his mum."

"I like that, except the detention part," Ginny nodded thoughtfully. "It might be worth it though."

"This is going to be brilliant," said Ron with unusual enthusiasm.

A.N. I just want to reassure you all that the rabbits are indeed safe and have not been used in any potions.


End file.
